Unleashing my Inner Bitch

Somewhere on our way to Ottawa, on an uncrowded bus, the inner bitch that is always just underneath my prickly sweet surface, was unleashed, unbeknown to all of the poor individuals who would feel her wrath for the rest of the weekend.  I felt an almost imperceptible change come over me and decided to go with it.

I believe that all of us have an inner bitch - for some, like my friends Steph and Paul, it is easier for the bitch to remain present in their daily lives.  These individuals hold people at bay and wait for a reason to trust others, so their bitches are constantly there.  While for others, like me, this interior bitch always remains hidden since I interact with individuals with my heart wide open and I trust them from the very beginning.  Both manners of interaction can be detrimental: the first does not always allow you to become close to others, but you do protect yourself, while the other allows you to become close to others very quickly, but you can get very hurt time and time again.  Thus, I decided to experiment this weekend: instead of suffocating the words that usually keep bubbling to the surface, but that I unceremoniously pop, I let them loose.  Made snide comments all of the time to my audience of one and these were laughed at and enjoyed.  And I felt liberated, free as a bird and unusually happy. 

The bitch was ever more present on Sunday after having watched a silly chick flick and being thrown into a strange head space as a result.  Steph and I decided to sit outside for a while before meeting our friend Caro for a much needed drink.  So, there we were, sitting by ourselves, smoking, talking and singing our hearts out to Adele, Florence and the Machine and Coldplay, minding our own business, not wanting anyone to meddle in ours and sitting on the steps leading to the Timmy's at Concordia.  A slight rain creating sparkling beads on the strands of both of our hair, dampening our spirits further while wetting our feet.  A man approached us, slurring his words while attempting to compliment me and normally, I would smile patiently and listen to whatever he would have had to say, but not that night.  I cut him off, telling him that tonight it was just between girls - and when he tried again, I told him that I was a lesbian and that I was not interested, hoping that that would turn him away.  And yet no, he insisted - so, I got mean, told him, "Ecoute monsieur, nous ne sommes vraiment pas interessees, donc bonne soiree" with a forced and yet purposeful smile.  When he began to talk again, I cut him off with another more determined "Bonne soiree monsieur" and then watched as he walked away, defeated.  I did not want to be bothered by anyone, much less a drunken stranger and here I was letting him know that.

Thought I would have felt better once he was gone, but, truth be told, I felt worse and guilty.  Perhaps this man was just a lonely soul who needed to talk to someone and here I was denying him that comfort, however brief it might have been.  You see the trouble with unleashing your inner bitch is that you end up denying other people their humanity.  Everyone, as a good friend of mine has realized, wants two things: to belong and to contribute.  So, who am I to deny anyone their wish to belong or to be comforted?     

Blue Met Highlights

I have lived the most amazing, but intense, last six days of my whole life.  I had the best volunteers, met the best tech team and had the most amazing assistant ever!!
Here are some of the highlights of the festival for me:

1) Learning that there would be henna on the first night... going down to where she was stationed, near the salle de bal, but not being able to sit with her for the amount of time she required to do my arm... going back to see her to ask her if she would kindly come to the volunteer suite to do my arm there - and she actually came up because she could not get over my enthusiasm!  She is so kind and has such a beautiful soul!  She did such a wonderful job too!  That was the one thing I wanted to do during the festival, and it happened!

2) Joking around that people might fall into the little fish-infested pond located in the lobby of the Holiday Inn Select and then learning that it actually did happen... FIVE times - I only wish I had been there to see it happen all five times!

3) Sharing a very hearty breakfast with the tech boys on the majority of my early mornings at the hotel - became addicted to the bacon, eggs, sausages, potatoes and tiny pastries served every morning :)  Could not start my day without it.


 4) Joking around and talking about men with my incredible assistant Maya - what a fantastic woman!  We had so much fun together!

5) Giving at least seven massages... and getting perhaps three back... but I enjoyed giving them more than anything else :)  Seeing one of the tech boys stretched out on four or five of our very hard and uncomfortable chairs, how could I resist? ;)

6) Seeing the smiling faces of my volunteers when I made my rounds and giving them high fives and/or hugs while I was passing through.  I nicknamed myself "la bebite a calins", aka "the hugbug".

7) Being told that I had some fine "gilets" and not knowing what that means in French slang...

8) Spending some time with my pals, Ana, Manu, Evelyn and Row while at the festival - made my days when they were there.

9) Meeting a very young volunteer that is absolutely too cute for words.

10) Telling an amazing volunteer, a very tall man with a very sexy accent, what to do and seeing him leave with a smile and a quick step - he was ready to help with anything!  What an incredible volunteer!

11) Transferring energy with a veteran volunteer that has such a calming effect on the whole Blue Met team because she has been with us forever.  She is the coolest woman on the planet!

12) Getting a VERY cute man to volunteer... just so I could see him again!  And he actually accepted!

13) Telling a seemingly prudish volunteer to go grab Alex's wet balls from the pond :)  The decorator had gotten some plastic globes that lit-up and had placed them in the pond - the volunteer needed to go and fish them out... telling her to bring a towel for Alex's big wet balls... classic dirty humor for those who can appreciate it.

14) Listening to all of the stupidities being said on the walkies and cracking a few jokes myself.  Hearing the boys mutter and curse on the walkies because they were missing the game!

15) Meeting Alex's boys - his sugar gliders and potentially being offered a baby-sitting gig when him and his Marie-Eve go out of town :)

16) Dealing with absent volunteers and five room changes - meaning that I had to re-organize my WHOLE schedule TWENTY minutes before the first events were set to start... and being surprised by my own level-headedness and efficiency.

17) Learning that I was in charge of a room with fifteen minutes to go before the discussion was about to start... and actually pulling it off.

18) Eating all day, every single day :)  Just munching and munching away - I think I have gained ten pounds !!

19) Meeting Dennis Trudeau :)  He came into the volunteer suite looking for some snacks - well, the volunteer suite was THE place to be for that :)

20) Getting the party started on the first night - of course, where there is M-E, there is a party :)